Community + Relationships

How to Date (the Right People) as a Lawyer

  • There’s no shame in getting some dating help, especially if you’re busy and work long hours. Matchmakers and dating apps can help you find the right people
  • Not all dating needs to happen after work. If you have the flexibility to leave the office for lunch or coffee, consider using that time for meeting up with a date
  • Say yes to work-related outings like conferences, networking events, and volunteer opportunities. You’ll have a better chance of meeting like-minded people

Type “how to date lawyers” into Google, and you’ll receive pages upon pages of results.

But if you search “how to date as a lawyer” … well, that’s another story. It seems dating advice for lawyers is too challenging even for advice columnists to tackle.

And it’s true: Dating as a lawyer is hard. Whether it’s the challenge of finding someone willing to put up with our grueling work schedules or maintaining a relationship while traveling constantly, we can have a tough time on the dating scene.

So, how do you date as a lawyer? And how do you find the right person for you? There’s no magic formula, but here are a few strategies for getting yourself out there.

Figure Out Your Ideal Match

We don’t mean you should list your ideal partner’s physical attributes on a piece of paper and wish him or her into existence, but it’s helpful to have an idea of the kind of person you’re looking for in a big-picture sense. For instance, if you’re a BigLaw associate working like crazy, you probably shouldn’t date someone who would be overly needy and resentful if you had to cancel a dinner for work.

Hire a Matchmaker

Have we mentioned dating as a lawyer can be challenging? Matchmakers (yes, it’s still a thing!) take a lot of the effort and guesswork out of dating, which can be extremely helpful for busy, overworked lawyers. Matchmakers can search for potential dates more likely to be accepting of your lifestyle as well, which means the odds are in your favor that you’ll find someone who has a similar high-pressure career or is at least understanding of someone who does.

Download Dating Apps

There are scores of dating apps out there catering to all kinds of audiences. Which one is best for you comes down to personal preference, but many lawyers find success with The League, which caters to career-driven singles, and Bumble, which puts women in control of messaging through the app. Do your best to meet your matches in person relatively soon after connecting; when you’re as busy as we are, it can be easy to let messaging drag on for too long before eventually petering out.

You most likely have friends who are in a relationship that began online. What can learn from their app strategy?

Go to Work-Related Events

Like all busy professionals, lawyers should strive for efficiency whenever possible. And that includes while dating. One great way to meet like-minded people and put in some valuable facetime involves attending work-related outings like networking events, conferences, and volunteer opportunities. And hey, even if you don’t end up meeting anyone you’re interested in going out with, you’ll grow your network in other ways.

Plan Lunch or Coffee Dates

Let’s say you want to plan a date with someone, but there’s no way you’ll be getting out of the office before 9 p.m. all week. Don’t limit yourself to scheduling your dates only after work. If you have the flexibility and time to eat lunch away from the office or go on a coffee run, invite a date to tag along and put any limited daytime freedom you have to use.

What's Next

Start by thinking about the big-picture qualities of your ideal match if you haven’t yet. Then, try out one of the suggestions on the above list that you haven’t tried before. If you’ve made your way through our entire list of recommendations, find a dating app you haven’t tried yet or find a new matchmaker – the key is to renew your efforts by starting fresh.