Community + Relationships

What You Should Know Before Dating a Lawyer

  • Lawyers’ lives revolve around work, which can make finding time to spend together challenging. Their partners need to be understanding when they have to cancel plans
  • Problem-solving, communications skills, and other abilities most lawyers learn on the job can make them great romantic partners
  • While many lawyers take home high salaries, most also have student loan debt – so don’t expect for them to automatically pay for everything

You know the old belief that stereotypes are based in truth?

It’s certainly not the case for everyone, but in many ways, it is true of lawyers. Especially when it comes to dating them.

Chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re a lawyer (or you were handed this article by a lawyer. And if that’s the case, welcome!) so you already have an idea of what lawyers’ lives are like. But being in a relationship with a lawyer can present a host of challenges you might not be prepared for.

Don’t worry! None of this is to say that dating a lawyer is a bad idea. In fact, lawyers can make great romantic partners – you just have to know what to expect. That’s what we’re here for.

Lawyers Work a Lot

You likely know that many lawyers’ lives revolve around their work, and that they can frequently be at the office until late at night. In theory, that doesn’t sound too bad for you, right? It isn’t necessarily, so long as you’re prepared to spend evenings alone or hang out with friends and family without your romantic partner there, and to accept when plans have to change. When it comes to avoiding disappointment, being aware of your prospective partner’s round-the-clock schedule before you start to date is essential.

Most Lawyers Have Debt

Yes, many lawyers bring home sizable paychecks (all that hard work has to be for something), but most of them also had to take out student loans in order to attend law school in the first place. These days, most law school graduates rack up six figures in student loans by the time they earn their J.D.s. Before you begin to date a lawyer expecting he or she is made of money, remember that there’s a good chance they’re living on a budget in order to pay off their remaining law school loan debt.

Lawyers are Strong Communicators

As mentioned above, there are plenty of reasons why lawyers make great romantic partners, and their communications skills are one of the big ones. Lawyers are trained to be direct and to express themselves so that there’s no room for doubt in understanding what they want – and this can be as valuable in a relationship as it is in the courthouse. When you date a lawyer, you’re never going to wonder if they mean what they say; you’ll know exactly.

You Probably Won’t Win Arguments

You might think you’re good at arguing, but you have no idea just how good someone is who has been professionally trained to argue.

Even if you’re a lawyer yourself, have you experienced disagreeing with a lawyer on a personal level? How was that experience different from arguments with other types of people?

No matter what, you’re going to be out-argued, whether you’re disagreeing about a movie or what to do you with your Saturday night. It’s not that lawyers will turn everything into an argument (although this might be the case for some), but when you do find yourself in an argument with your partner, you should probably prepare to lose.

Lawyers are Good Problem Solvers

Another skill lawyers pick up in law school and on the job is to think objectively, which in turn makes them very good at problem solving. This is the case at work, of course, but also when it comes to solving problems in their own relationships or helping their romantic partners work through challenges of their own. The ability to be objective while also thinking creatively – something lawyers are adept at – is a great asset for any potential mate.

You’ll be Invited to Firm Functions and Other Parties

Yes, when you date a lawyer you’ll be invited to – and expected to attend – law firm functions as well as other parties where networking for future business opportunities takes center stage. The good news? These events aren’t as boring as they might at first seem, and the same can be true for the people attending. After all, if you’re dating a lawyer, there’s a good chance you’ll find that person’s colleagues intriguing, as well.

Of course, just like the people who make up any group of professionals, not all lawyers are the same. Even so, it can be valuable to attempt to understand what you’re getting into. Despite the challenges they present, lawyers can make great romantic partners for all the reasons outlined above, as well as one other big one: You never know when you might need a lawyer’s professional services. It doesn’t hurt to have an attorney close to home.